Home Grown



wants to give a blow job



blow job at my place

cannot wait

cannot wait either

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Sexuality in Marriage

As your relationship develops, sexuality changes. This is normal. Since intense sexual attraction is usually an important bonding element early in relationships, sexual changes often seem unwelcome. Many factors are involved in these changes.

Before we talk any further about the challenges of sex in marriage, it's worth noting that married women and men report being significantly more satisfied with their sex lives than either single or cohabiting people.

One of the most fundamental challenges is the decline in sexual novelty. Novelty is a major sexual stimulant. Novelty is automatic early in your relationship. Later, sex naturally becomes more familiar and less novel with your partner.

Low desire is the top sexual problem in marriages. (For men, the top complaint is low frequency--although many women share this concern; for women, the top complaint is quality.) You may need to seek approaches to increasing the stimulation of your sex life at some point to compensate for the loss of partner novelty. The basic strategy is to seek new sources of novelty and variety. Read on for suggestions.

Other common interfering factors include anger, time, avoidance and anxiety.

While most couples don’t want to make love while they are in the middle of a fight, it’s a mistake to put aside your sex life for an extended period because of disagreements. (Volatile couples, especially, may find making up from fights to be a passionate experience.) Repair your fights and don’t interrupt your sex life out of anger.

Lack of time is one of the most often cited reasons for infrequency of sex. One of the most common myths is that sex has to take a certain amount of time. Of course, leisurely sex can be wonderful. But it’s a luxury that few couples can afford on a regular basis. If you wait for a big chunk of time and the right mood for most sexual encounters, your sex life will become infrequent if your life is as busy as most. See below for suggestions on how time-limited sex can be satisfying for both partners.

Another top myth is that sex must be spontaneous. It’s a fact of modern life that we plan and schedule everything that is a priority. Make sex a priority and include it in your schedule. Date night is popular with many couples, but some experts advocate planning frequent very brief sexual encounters.

Couples often avoid sex because their sex life has become dissatisfying or conflictual. If talking about it is uncomfortable (and for most it is, at least a bit), avoidance can become the path of least resistance. Lack of time is often a convenient excuse. Talking about sexual concerns in a caring way and planning together for sexual revitalization can be the cure for avoidance.

Anxiety is another frequent interfering factor. Sometimes anxiety is related to inhibitions acquired earlier in life. Performance is another big source of anxiety. Performance used to be a male concern—now women, too, feel pressure to perform sexually. It’s hard for mere mortals to live up to the sexual expectations and images promoted by the media.

Sex is an important bonding component in marriage. So even if you feel somewhat alienated from your partner, sex can often be the experience that restores your bond. It can allow you both to feel closer, get affection and stimulate a sense of intimacy. For some men who don’t talk very much in relationships, sex can help them open up a little. From a biological point of view, sex has a very positive effect on brain chemistry that can make an important contribution to the on-going health of your marriage. Sex primes the pump for intimacy and healing in marriage.

Marriages that don’t maintain their sexual vitality are very much at risk. Plan together to protect and promote your sex life.

For many people, sensate-focused sex is great early in the relationship. They give themselves over to the wonderful body sensations of sex with their partner. If you find sensate focus less satisfying as your marriage progresses, consider a more interpersonal approach to sex—what Schnarch calls ‘eyes wide open’ sex.

Fantasy can be another important source of stimulation and variety for a sex life that has become routine. Fantasy can be anything from reading sexy stories to watching sexy videos to talking about things you’d like to do (whether or not you actually go on to do them). Reviewing together the early days of your relationship and what you found so alluring in each other can be very stimulating.

Pasahow advocates using mutually arousing fantasies, both in advance and during sex, to increase your stimulation, so that both partners can be satisfied in the limited amount of time available for most sexual encounters in busy lives.

Use variety to increase novelty: new and various fantasies, positions, toys, locations, times, etc.

Take turns initiating sex. Take turns being in total control while your partner remains totally passive. These strategies help to deal with common complaints that partners take too little or too much responsibility.

Optimize your sex life by communicating desires and taking small risks.

Pasahow and other books give many suggestions for implementing these approaches in many different relationships with different sexual issues.

Our suggested readings about sexuality in marriage (and other committed relationships):

Carole Pasahow, DSW, ACSW, Sexy Encounters: 21 Days of Provocative Passion Fixes
(Program, resources and suggestions for lack of desire, 'not enough time,' increasing variety, use of fantasy, reconciling different sexual styles, etc.)

Click here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore link.

David Schnarch, Ph.D., Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
(Stages and impasses of married sexuality. Stick with it past the slow beginning. There are some really important ideas here and they tend to accelerate in the second half of the book. He is a strong advocate for marriage as an environment for the continuous personal development process of each partner. He describes the interaction between marriage, personal development and sexual relations.)

Click here to learn more about or buy this book through our bookstore link.

TN Couple Looking

Good Time Lady

What's up?

Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves

This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.

More Carol again . . .

carolsurfagurl@yahoo.com

Women need a skilled partner to orgasm

Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.

More Carol

carolsurfagurl@yahoo.com

All women want a G-spot orgasm

Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.

A Submitted Contribution

INTRODUCING CAROL

carolsurfagurl@yahoo.com



Couples on the prowl . . .

SENIORS HAVING SEX

A full swap couple in Tennessee

Americans pushing 60, 70, 80 or even 90 don't forgo sex just because they're aging, according a new study that shows many older adults are having sex well into their 70s and 80s.

The University of Chicago study being published Thursday in the New England Journal of Medicine is being called the first comprehensive look at the sex lives of older adults in the USA. It portrays an image that researchers say runs counter to the stereotypes of older people as either asexual or "dirty old men."

"Sexuality discussion in later life has long been a taboo subject," says Stacy Tessler Lindau, a gynecologist and the study's lead author. "This study for first time provides information that allows people to see where their experiences align against others of similar health and age status. The data tell the world that older people do not give up sexuality by virtue of their age."

Based on data collected from 3,005 adults ages 57 to 85 during two-hour face-to-face interviews between July 2005 and March 2006, the findings show that many are sexually active, as long as their health holds out.

In the preceding 12 months, 73% of those ages 57 to 64, 53% of those ages 65 to 74 and 26% of those ages 75 to 85 said they were sexually active. Among those reporting good or excellent health, 81% of men and 51% of women said they had been sexually active in the past year compared to just 47% of men and 26% of women reporting fair or poor health.

"Little is known about sexual activity of older adults and how it's associated with health," says Georgeanne Patmios of the National Institute on Aging, which as part of the National Institutes of Health supported the research. "What we knew before this study came from research using highly self-selected populations or smaller subgroups, and it was often designed by advocacy groups. This is the first nationally-representative comprehensive data on sexual activity, behaviors and problems among this older population group."

The study found that men overall were more likely to have partners in later life and more likely to be sexually active. Older women were less likely to be sexually active because they often outlive their partners and men tend to marry younger women.

The most common reason for sexual inactivity among both men and women was the male partner's physical health problem, the study found.

About half of the sexually active adults reported at least one "bothersome" sexual problem; 37% of men cited erectile dysfunction and 43% of women cited low desire.

The study says "sexual problems are frequent among older adults." But human sexuality researcher John DeLamater, who did not participate in the study, says the University of Chicago researchers "have a tendency to focus on dysfunction." He says most sexuality studies conducted in the USA are studying sex as it relates to problems, such as teen sex, HIV or sexually transmitted diseases.

DeLamater, a University of Wisconsin sociology professor who has studied human sexuality for 35 years, cites a "debate" as to whether low sexual desire should be considered a sexual problem.

"Some older men and women believe they shouldn't be having sex because they're older," he says. "Women are more likely to consider it inappropriate."

He also questions the notion in the research that a drop in sexual activity is health-related. The study cites diabetes' association with erectile dysfunction and a lower prevalence of sexual activity.

DeLamater says the most important factor determining a woman's sexual activity is an available partner.

"It has nothing to do with their health," he says.

He says his studies suggest that for both men and women low sexual desire was the major reason for declines in sexual activity.

DeLamater does agree with the Chicago researchers that there is a lack of information offered by physicians to older adults about their sexuality and aging.

"The silence among physicians is certainly a problem because physicians are in a position to help people identify something they can do about it if they want to," he says.

In addition to the lengthy interviews, participants in the University of Chicago study completed questionnaires dealing with sexual activities and social relationships and provided physiological specimens, including blood spots and saliva and vaginal swabs to be used in follow-up health studies.

Among other findings:

• 54% of the oldest sexually active respondents reported having sex at least two to three times per month; 23% reported having sex once a week or more.

• About half of men and women under age 75 engaged in oral sex in the previous 12 months.

• 14% of men reported taking medication to improve sexual function; 1% of women reported taking such drugs.

• 38% of men and 22% of women reported having discussed sex with a physician since the age of 50.

These findings aren't a surprise to Robert Butler, a physician who headed the National Institute on Aging from 1975 to 1982. He and his late wife Myrna Lewis co-wrote the 1976 book Sex After Sixty and revised it several times, most recently in 2002.

"This study reaffirms the realization that older people do still enjoy lovemaking and it's significant in their lives," he says.

To read entire article, click here

Wives and Moms

Male or Female?

When babies are developing in the womb, they all begin with sex organs that look female. If the baby is male, he begins to produce testosterone, and if the hormone reaches the tissues correctly, the external genitals become a scrotum and penis. Chromosomal or sex hormone abnormalities can produce an infant in an intersexual state. It can also be caused by a condition called congenital adrenal hyperplasia, which is a disease the blocks the baby's metabolism. It is not as uncommon as we might think; about 1 in every 2,000 newborns is born in an intersexual state.

APPROACHING



slowing approaching the target



slowing approaching the end

approaching on my own





OUR FIRST FULL SWAP

What can I say??? 

Our first full swap with another couple was HOT!  There’s no other way to describe it.  There was some nervousness all around at the beginning, but once we got into it all the nerves disappeared.

We figured a good way to start would be for both the girls to get together and double team the guys orally.  Both of us spent quite a bit of time sucking, licking and generally pleasuring one of the guys while the other took pictures.  After a while the guys swapped on “camera duty” so the other could get his turn.  At some point or another during this, the other girl and I started to make out.  That was incredible!  I had kissed other girls before, but not while both of us were naked and fondling each other’s tits!

It wasn’t long before I could no longer resist the urge to go down on her and taste her sweet pussy.  That first lick is something that I’ll never forget.  It was pretty much right then I decided I was no longer bi-curious, but definitely bisexual!  I loved sucking on her clit while fingering her pussy.  Her moans just encouraged me to keep going and I finally understood why my boyfriend was so into going down on women.

A lot of the nights events from then on are a bit of a blur.  I remember the other couple both going down on me, rubbing her clit while my boyfriend fucked her, sucking her nipples while her boyfriend fucked me, and a few other random things.  It was definitely a wonderful experience and I was hooked on swinging from that night on.

After we left, my boyfriend and I just looked at each other and started laughing. 

“We just had a full swap with another couple,” we both said at the same time.  It was such a high!

More to cum!

SUCKING

like sucking on a lollypop



like sucking on a candy cane



just tired of sucking

SUBMISSION

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Pussy Ages





Can You Tell The Difference?







30 year old pussy

40 year old pussy

50 year old pussy





EATING PUSSY

Cunnilingus is an oral sex act performed on a female. It involves the use by a sex partner of the mouth, lips and tongue to stimulate the female's clitoris, vulva, or vagina. A female may receive cunnilingus as part of foreplay before sexual intercourse, or as intercourse.

The term is derived from the Latin words for the vulva (cunnus) and tongue (lingua).
As in all human sexual behavior, both the techniques used in cunnilingus and an individual's response to them are varied.

The clitoris is the most sexually sensitive erogenous zone for most women, but may be too sensitive to comfortably stimulate at times, especially in early stages of arousal. Author Shere Hite notes in The Hite Report that most women achieve orgasm easily from clitoral stimulation as part of cunnilingus or some other form of direct clitoral stimulation

Some sex manuals recommend beginning with a gentler, less focused stimulation of the labia and the whole genital area. The tip, blade, or underside of the tongue may be used, as can the nose, chin, teeth and lips. Movements can be slow or fast, regular or erratic, firm or soft, according to the participants' preferences. The tongue can be inserted into the vagina, either stiffened or moving. The performing partner may also hum to produce vibration.

Cunnilingus may be accompanied by the insertion of finger(s) or a sex toy into the vagina, which allows for the simultaneous stimulation of the g-spot, and/or into the anus.


There are several positions for cunnilingus:

• Missionary – the female lies on her back, with her legs spread, pulled up to her chest, on her partner or raised.
• Doggy style – the female crouches on all fours, while her partner performs oral sex from behind.
• Standing – the female stands facing her partner, who is either sitting or on the knees. However, in this position the clitoris is more difficult to reach and stimulate, and the female may have difficulty maintaining her balance when she is reaching orgasm because her legs quiver and shake.
• Sitting  – the female sits on a chair or uses some other support.
• Mutual stimulation – see the 69 position.
• Face-sitting – the female sits on or above the partner's face. In this position the female has more control over her body movements and can guide her partner or auto-stimulate against the partner's face.

DOGGING

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Misc. Shots



Thick enough for you?

Saggy enough for you?

Sexy enough for you?

PENIS ENVY

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'"-From Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953

Sigmund Freud’s views on women stirred controversy during his own lifetime and continue to evoke considerable debate today. "Women oppose change, receive passively, and add nothing of their own," he wrote in a 1925 paper entitled "The Psychical Consequences of the Anatomic Distinction Between the Sexes."

Donna Stewart, M.D., a professor and chair of women’s health at the University Health Network, explained, "Freud was a man of his times. He was opposed to the women’s emancipation movement and believed that women’s lives were dominated by their sexual reproductive functions" (Lehmann, p. 9).

Penis Envy:

Penis envy is the female counterpart to Freud’s concept of castration anxiety. In his theory of psychosexual development, Freud suggested that during the phallic stage (around ages 3-5) young girls distance themselves from their mothers and instead devote their affections to their fathers.

According to Freud, this occurs when a girl realizes that she has no penis. "Girls hold their mother responsible for their lack of a penis and do not forgive her for their being thus put at a disadvantage," Freud suggested (1933).

While Freud believed that his discovery of the Oedipal complex and related theories such as castration anxiety and penis envy were his greatest accomplishments, these theories are perhaps his most criticized. Female psychoanalysts such as Karen Horney and other feminist thinkers have described his ideas as distorted and condescending.