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Friday, August 17, 2012

When should I go in for the first kiss?
(Part 3 of 3)

 

Love and sex are among the things that make our lives better and increase our pleasure to live. But every good thing has a less pleasurable side and one must admit that a lot of stress is associated with these delightful activities. The first touch, the first kiss, the first evening out, the first night spent together, all these key moments of the early part of a relationship can be very stressful for both partners. Some people think that these moments can make or break relationships, but the issue is still up for debate. Not everybody gets it right the first time and many first nights spent together are not that great. It takes time to learn what the other likes, wants and looks for in and out of bed, so there are bound to be a lot of early fumbles and mistakes.

On the plus side, these awkward moments may end up as sweet memories two lovers can laugh about years later. Still, a mistake is a mistake and the fewer one does, the better off everybody is. Since you both are most likely to be nervous the first time, make sure you set the stage for this event. When you feel you are both comfortable with each other and that your relationship has advanced enough to warrant a more intimate approach, make a plan for the setting of the first kiss. Choose a location you are familiar with and whose main feature is intimacy. There is also an ungodly amount of hype surrounding first kisses. The two partners should, allegedly, hear bells ringing or feel like having a thousand butterflies in their stomachs and other such nonsense.

Don't let such ideas put you off if the first kiss was not followed by a huge display of fireworks. Cherish it as the first step toward what may prove to be a special relationship and move forward. In other words, kiss her because you both feel like it, not because it's some sort of ritual, and do it at your own pace and in your own style. If you are not certain of what she wants or likes, then don't rush into a French kiss. Brush your lips gently against hers, look into her eyes for the confirmation and then come back for a second try with a more resolute approach. If she does not recoil, then you can be a bit more firm. But the gentle brushing is a very good idea for the first kiss. It will net you points for both control and tenderness.

Unless you are the type who jumps head first into anything and just hopes for the best, you may want to actually take a moment and think about this before doing anything. A lonely bench in the park at sunset is a good idea. The doorstep of her parents' house is not. Don't make a hasty affair of the first kiss because your girlfriend is very likely to remember this for a long time afterwards. Pick a quiet spot, where nobody is going to bustle in on you just as you're getting ready to share a pleasant moment.

Make sure your hygiene is fit for this occasion: no bad breath, no smelly body. No fancy stuff on the first kiss. There'll be time enough for this later on. Don't spoil the moment by trying something really special and making a mess of it. Stick to a slow and gentle kiss that paves the way for the more advanced stuff to come. Just focus on sliding into each other's arms, finding a comfortable position and kissing away to heart's content. If you can pull this off without a hitch, then you can say your first kiss with that partner was a complete success.

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